The Importance of Loving Yourself

by Quinn Donbrowski via Flickr

“Think thoughts that make you feel good, make choices that make you feel good and take actions that make you feel good.” Cheryl Richardson

I read "You Can Create an Exceptional Life" by Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson recently and it reminded me of the importance of loving ourselves and just how the degree to how much we do this is mirrored within our own lives.

One of the first personal development books that I read was “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay; it is a brilliant book and its message is simple: our thoughts create our reality and loving ourselves (and creating more loving thoughts) is the cure for our problems.

"Life is really very simple. What we give out, we get back. What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us.... Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and feelings. The thoughts we think and words we speak create our experiences."

So many of us look for love and validation outside ourselves; in relationships, through friendships, at work or wherever, but neglect the fact that we can love ourselves. We are like hungry ghosts, looking everywhere else for love but the place where we can truly get it. When we are coming from this place we actually push love away from us, because the underlying thought or belief is: I don't have love and I need to get it outside of me.

Imagine what life would be like when we supported and encouraged ourselves with loving thoughts rather than fearful ones? So many of our problems in life come from a lack of self love. Would some people feel the need to make themselves feel better by putting others down with more self love? Would there be so much tension in the work place if there wasn't so much "one up manship" and employees knew how to meet their own needs healthily? What kind of relationships would we have if we had a focus on self love? What would our relationships be like with our bodies when we focussed on nurturing and caring for them instead of critisizing or ignoring them?

I think many of us worry about loving ourselves, thinking it is selfish or wrong. In fact it is the best thing you can do for yourself and those around you. Many spiritual texts talk about the importance of learning to love ourselves and know what we need first. Only then can we be really there for others. We can't give something we don't have, after all. This is why people often give the metaphor of what we are told on a plane; in the event of an emergency, out your own mask on first! We can’t help anyone else if we don’t take care of our own wellneing first.

So, to create the life we want Louise recommends that we,

"bypass the issue and talk about what you want as though it is so".

Our words have power; rather than saying things like "I'm always late" or "I'm no good at relationships" we need to take charge and talk about what we want as we want it, and as though we already have it. To start, gentle catching ourselves as we find ourselves thinking negatively is useful. We can start refraining from negative affirmations and turning them around into positive affirmations. Catch yourself and be aware of what you are feeding your mind.

I practised positive affirmations for half an hour in a car journey last week. It struck me that though I wouldn't think of myself as a particularly negative thinker; I am often not in charge of what I'm thinking. A lot of the time, I react to what's happening in front of me, or the thoughts that come into my mind and they are not always intentionally created! One of the affirmations Louise recommends in 'You Can Create an Exceptional Life' for driving is: "I am surrounded by good drivers and I send love into all the cars around me". My experience driving that day was very different to most days!

We can create positive thoughts and affirmations for any area of our lives. One of my favourites, when I am thinking fearful or negative thoughts is:

“Only good lies before me.”
When we love ourselves and feed our minds with loving, supporting thoughts, life works. We attract what we believe we deserve, so why not believe we deserve more? We need to become our own cheerleaders, encouraging and supporting ourselves in all areas of life. 

I recommend reading both "You Can Heal Your Life" and "You Can Create an Exceptional Life" to learn more about loving yourself and creating an exceptional life. 

Are you feeling stuck in your life or your business?

If you enjoyed this and are also interested in learning to love yourself or on working on another area of your life or business, then book your free consultation with me here at my coaching page.