How To Stop Worrying (& Start Living)

by -po via Flickr

"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." ~ The Serenity Prayer

Do you find yourself worrying about things you can’t control (or even things you can)? Do you go over and over situations in your kind? We all know that worrying doesn't make a difference, so why do we still do it? There are many reasons we worry. Worrying gives us the illusion of control, as if we are doing something about whatever it is we are worrying about. It is also a bad habit that many people get into, which then becomes an entrenched way of being.

However, have you ever found that worrying has made any difference? Life has a way of working itself out, one way or the other. Even if our worst case scenario plays out in real life, worrying never makes a difference in the meantime or makes us more prepared for a situation when it arrives.

So how do we stop worrying? As the quote at the beginning of this article says, we need to learn to know the difference between what we can and cannot change and respond appropriately.

1. Be Proactive

Have you found yourself worrying about something, but not doing anything to make a change or make it better? Sometimes, worrying actually stops us from doing what needs to be done; it can make us freeze or stop in our tracks. One way to deal with worry is to make sure you have done everything that can be done in a situation. Then, if you start to worry, you can start by reminding yourself that you have done everything that can be done for now. If a new idea for how to tackle a situation comes into your head that’s a different story and can be guidance to use, however if you find yourself going around in circles again, it’s time to stop the cycle. 

2. Create A New Intention

It can be helpful to create a new intention to stop worrying. If you are noticing how much worry is part of your life, you could create a goal of being worry free for example. Having a tangible and measurable goal helps to crystallize your goal and make it real. You could share your new intention with others, so they can help you stay on track. We all need that extra bit of help sometimes to create a  new habit.

3. Watch Your Language

The words we use are powerful tools in creating our experiences in life. One way to deal with worry is to start noticing the words you use and how they make you (and others) feel. Choosing positive language will help you to feel more empowered around your life experiences. If you find yourself feeling anxious or worried when talking, it is a good sign that you are using language that is feeding your worries. It can be useful to use that feeling as a sign post that you need to stop and adjust what you are saying to a more positive interpretation (or maybe to say nothing at all). Talking about our worries can be helpful at times; however it can be helpful to become more conscious about what you are saying and why you are saying it to be clear about whether what you are saying is helping you or not. This isn’t about lying to yourself or pretending you don’t feel a certain way but realizing that what we think and say has the power to bring more of that experience into our lives. 

4. The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about; your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest. Therefore, we need to pay attention to the quality and direction of our thoughts. Our life is a mirror of our thoughts.

     5. Beware of Other Worriers

As the saying goes, “birds of a feather flock together”. When you start to deal with your habit for worrying, you may notice that many of the people around you are worriers or feed your worries. Start to notice when you feel more empowered and the times when you worry more and how it relates to associating with the different people  in your life. For example, if you have a friend that always feeds your concerns about money, it is worth recognizing this and either limiting conversations about that topic or finding away to limit their influence on you.

6. Cultivate Presence

Worrying leaves us living in our heads and churning over the past and the future. An antidote to this is learning to cultivate presence. Practice being here now. When I find myself worrying or going around in an endless loop in my head, I gently bring myself back to the present moment. 

7. Seek Assistance

There are many wonderful tools available that can help us with our emotional goals, including worrying less. Emotional Freedom Technique, meditation and yoga are all helpful techniques that we can practice to gain some mastery over our emotional landscape.

8.  Let Go

Learning to let go of (the illusion of) control is vital in learning how to stop worrying. Being human, there is only so much we can do about a given situation and then the rest really is out of our hands, whether we want to accept it or not. Whatever your religious or spiritual belief or non –belief, we are all aware that there is only so much we can control. Practice letting go and trusting. 

Life is short and precious. Learning to let go of worry and live in the present moment helps us to appreciate and savor it all the more.

Are you feeling stuck in your life or your business?

If you enjoyed this and are also interested in creating a life you don't need to escape from, then book your free consultation with me here at my coaching page.